Train travel in Italy

On our trip to Italy, parents, niece and I caught a train from Milan to Venice. Seats in a compartment had been booked well in advance at great expense. The carriages are clearly marked and the seats are easy to find, except that two of them are already occupied. I looked at the tickets and then the occupants, who play dumb. Not able to speak more than a few words of Italian, I resort to sign language, pointing to our tickets and gesturing that I want to see theirs. No response. OK, if that's the way you want to play it, we'll wait for the conductor.

In the meantime, parents need to sit, so they take the two open seats. I stand inside and niece stands outside. I still keep pointing to our tickets and muttering. Eventually the large, garishly dressed African gentleman at the window seat stands and goes out as if doing us a great favour, saying Italians can't be trusted. Stands in the passage with niece. I sit down, determined to find out who the guilty parties are. Then his equally large lady companion gets up, looking Po-faced (if you'll pardon the pun) and joins him in the passage. Aha! Her place is taken by a new entrant, an elegantly attired Italian woman who apparently does have a ticket. So there is still an interloper!

Brainwave! We are going to talk in Afrikaans. "Dis nou tyd vir aksie!" was all I could think of and niece and I squashed together next to a woman dressed in T-shirt and casual pants, reading the Italian version of Heat magazine. That's it! I stare into her eyes and point at her. She points to herself questioningly. I nod and indicate with my thumb that she should take a hike. She immediately gets up and goes off down the passage into the next compartment. A few minutes later we see her being ejected by the conductor who has at last arrived to sort out the freeloaders. The rest of the journey is comfortable and undisturbed.

So stick to your guns. If you have your ticket and you are sure you're in the right place, remember that half the locals didn't buy one and are hoping to catch a free ride.