Eina! (Roughly translated as Ouch!)

I recently had a Chinese foot massage. It was also a neck, arm, hands, back and leg massage. Don't get confused with a western massage - those are fairly gentle in comparison. Two beefy young Chinese brothers set to on the pair of us, rubbing the knots and tension out of our muscles with fingers of concrete, paying particular attention to the acupuncture points. After making us aware of the most painful parts of our bodies, they massaged the muscles, squeezing the toxins from places we didn't know existed - you will probably remember giving your friends Chinese bangles in the school playground - a kind of wringing of the forearms in opposite directions.

Chopping with the sides of the hands up and down the muscles, and pummelling of the fatty tissue as if we were a bit of meat being tenderised certainly distracted us from the initial pain and as time wore on, those sore spots were relieved and relaxed. We were twisted and turned to realign the spine, suspended by our arms to put any dislocations back in place - all of this in a sitting position - then reclined for the most important part of the treatment - the foot massage.

If you don't like having your feet touched or are ticklish, this is not for you. But I just love having my feet massaged. At times it was so painful I could only giggle hysterically, as I didn't want to shriek, but that also eased as the fingers massaged away the pain. There were only two spots under my feet that were excruciating and when it really hurts, you let them know and they will tell you which part of the body is not functioning optimally. For me it was the liver and the kidneys (drink more water) as always. No matter who is analysing me, it's those two.

The session ended with a good pummelling, pulling of fingers and toes with a 'crack!' for realignment and a lovely cup of jasmine tea. They were professional, expert and pretty much only able to speak Chinese, and we left feeling on top of the world, as if our feet were floating above the ground. It is highly recommended that this, or any massage treatment, be undertaken weekly until there is no initial pain and then monthly to keep your body working as it should. Prevention is, after all, better than cure!