Having successfully obtained a UK visa for my fast-approaching sortie to that soggy island, the next step is the Schengen visa for a quick stopover in The Netherlands. It was fortuitous that I got the UK visa first, as this is a requirement for the Schengen application. The waiting list for appointments is stretching to three weeks now, and I was lucky to get one with four weeks to go before departure. They are very emphatic about your being on time for your appointment and if you miss it, you have to make another. From this lengthy preamble, you will perhaps note that I wouldn't have time for that.
The traffic being what it is, I gave myself an hour and a half to do a 40-minute drive, and assumed (never do that) that the early morning rush hour(s) would be over. Google Maps told me that a 39-minute delay could be expected so I was already cutting it fine, and when the queue of cars leaving Kommetjie ground to a halt just past the Ocean View traffic lights, I did a U-turn and took the long road down through Scarborough and over Red Hill. Waste of time, as the cars travelling in that direction apparently had nowhere to go in a hurry and overtaking was impossible.
I passed Sun Valley without knowing whether I had gained any advantage and was informed by Google Maps that today the traffic in the Claremont/UCT area was 'heavier than usual' and at the current rate I would get to my destination with 5 minutes to spare. This wouldn't allow for parking. With the need for speed topmost in my mind, I was more aware than ever of the inability of motorists to pull away in unison from a traffic light and the 5-car gaps between them, of the inevitable lorry that can't quite achieve the speed limit, the overheated car parked on Hospital Hill for rubberneckers to enjoy, and the Average Speed monitoring along the way. Google Maps was accurate all the way, but didn't know about taxis getting a wash from a source on the opposite side of a major intersection of Adderley Street, where they effectively and uncaringly obstructed the free flow of traffic, and so I had made a plan for parking to take into account the need for prompt arrival. I would take whatever was available in front of the building. It was a bus stop.
I pulled right to the front of the clearly marked red lines, leapt from the car clutching my folder of documents and dashed into the building. I told the security guard I only had 3 minutes before my appointment on the 5th floor and I wasn't allowed to miss it, so he waved me through. I suspect it was because he didn't have a pen for me to fill in the form. The lift was waiting. I arrived at my destination with 2 minutes to spare. The relief!
I then sat (next in the queue) while a family at the counter took a little over 50 minutes to complete their application. So much for being on time for your appointment.
I asked the officials if I could go downstairs and move the car. No, you'll be next, it won't take long. So now the stress was about whether the car would be clamped or towed. Nothing to be done about it, so I just went through various scenarios while I sat there - whether I would walk to the Traffic Dept in Green Point to retrieve my car or take a bus (the irony), whether it would be clamped and I would have to phone to have it released, or whether I would be lucky. I hoped for lucky.
As luck would have it, the only traffic cop I have ever seen in Cape Town was writing out a ticket as I dashed back out of the building (the security guard waved me out). If I had been attended to at my appointment time, I could have parked illegally for a further 45 minutes without a ticket. I explained my reason for parking there and he said that although he sympathised (as he handed me the pink slip with an amount which I will not disclose here), I would have to take my case to the Traffic Dept to seek a reduction. I will do that. I mean, were the buses even running today?
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