The speech contest

Well, that was a fun evening! Our Toastmasters Club held its annual Humorous Speech and Impromptu Speech contests last night, and I can't say when I last laughed so much! There are so many talented people in the club, and in fact the competition was won by the lady who came 2nd in last year's International Toastmasters' Speech contest in the USA, no small achievement for someone who had only made six speeches at the club before entering that competition! So I don't feel bad having lost to her, or the other four contestants. In fact, I entered by mistake, not really taking in the word 'contest' when reading the email that invited members to tell their funniest stories. It has never been my intention to compete at Toastmasters, but someone must come last and I don't mind if it's me.

For weeks I knew what I was going to say, but hadn't formulated the actual wording of the story. As the time drew nearer, I thought I had better write something down. So I did. And then again, slightly differently. Then I practised saying it into my cellphone voice recorder. Horrors! I sounded dreadful. Well, too late to change a lifetime of poor diction - I started again, but this time the words were all different as I thought of new aspects of the story. And a third version came up.

Two days before the contest, I decided to write an opening paragraph and a closing paragraph which would tie it all together and tried to memorise them, as advised in the Toastmasters manual. (I was also going to be evaluated on the speech, as part of my journey to being a Competent Communicator!) Every time I practised that, again the words were different. I was getting a bit nervous, particularly as I knew the high standards against which I would be compared. But in for a penny, in for a pound...

The night of the contest arrived and we were all told the rules (!) particularly the bit about it being original material. I didn't like to mention that it was original every time I said it - it wouldn't do to look as though I hadn't prepared. The first few contestants did their thing and I groaned inwardly as I joined in the laughter at their really clever and obviously well-prepared offerings. And then it was my turn...

I stood before the audience and said my opening paragraph...

And suddenly it was like a movie running through my head - an action movie filled with drama and whodunnits and would the good guy win. The audience seemed to like it, as they laughed seemingly most of the time. I tried to remember all the important bits like making eye contact with each member of the audience - a difficult thing when they are all just a blur, and the time just raced by. I said nothing that I had planned and the rather staid and stilted practice into the cellphone was a million miles away as I demonstrated the action bits. When I came to the end, I couldn't remember what I had planned to say and didn't quite meet the requirements of the manual in that regard, but I had such fun giving the speech that I really didn't care!