Staying ahead

I would have been a completely useless cavewoman.
Unless I have had a hot shower and washed my hair first thing in the morning, I feel unprepared to leave my cave and expose myself to the outside world. I have the kind of hair that brings new meaning to the phrase 'bad hair day'. It is very fine, straight and has a different texture every day, depending on the wind direction and moisture content of the air. When the southeaster blows, my hair becomes electric and sticks to my head, except if I put a comb near it in an attempt to rearrange the knots. Then it sticks up at the ends. Sometimes it has more electricity than Eskom's power grid.
Those of you who have thick, wavy locks tumbling over your shoulders should never complain of a bad hair day. Your head is surrounded by a natural halo. You can hide behind an artfully arranged coiffure if you feel so inclined. You can keep your shoulders warm in winter. You can be in an advert for hair products. I have nothing to enhance the size of my head in relation to body size and sometimes feel totally out of proportion - a wig often comes to mind as a prospective means of balancing the perspective. The urge to wear long, flowing, feminine robes is somewhat tempered by the imbalance of a lack of locks.
Years of experience have taught me that no amount of mousse (not the chocolate variety), volumising shampoo, curlers, back-combing and blow-drying will provide body and bounce for longer than it takes to leave the salon. I just ask for a cursory wave of the hairdryer and leave it at that. A long line of hairdressers can attest to this sad truth.
Air travel is a nightmare, as the lack of facilities after a long flight means I look as though I have been pulled through a hedge backwards. If possible, I head straight for the Ladies' Room, where large handbasins and tall taps enable a quick shampoo and rinse, followed by a session under one of the hand driers that blow at hurricane force. In about 3 minutes I feel like new again, although I do sometimes get strange looks.
Perhaps a large selection of hats is the answer.