If you have ever had any doubts about the dangers of excessive alcohol intake, watching the TV show The Smoking Gun - Dumbest Partiers, will dispel those doubts forever. Partying is supposed to be fun, but I doubt whether the idiot who trashed his entire apartment with a baseball bat remembers the fun part. The dumbest of all was the guy who let his friend put duct tape on his head (had a No. 1) and tear it off to give him a bald look. The ripping sound as each hair was torn from its follicle by the root travelled through every nerve in my body as I remembered similar torture at the hands of a beautician. The partygoer's scream intensified when he realised that part of his scalp had also been removed, and I felt a sense of satisfaction that at least one male had experienced the routine pain that women endure to look attractive for them.
I was reminded of the infamous Epilady, a tool of torture which had obviously never been tested by its apparently male inventor. For those of you lucky enough not to have ever used one, it was a tightly coiled spring thing that vibrated as you gently stroked it over your hirsute limbs, on the premise that the individual hairs would be caught in the coils and plucked from you in a ladylike fashion. I can only say that the sensation was that of being repeatedly stabbed with multiple blunt needles and the result completely ineffectual. The Epilady was consigned straight into the bin and history.
I hope evolution has been told that women need to be less hairy to ensure the survival of the species and that something will be sorted out over the next hundred thousand or so years.
No comments:
Post a Comment